The Trauma Sales Approach: Why Clients Hate Being Sold To (And What To Do Instead)

Table of Contents

• How to Make Sales Feel Like Just a Conversation

  • Put the buyer in the driver’s seat.

  • Get clear on who your ideal client actually is.

  • Understand why their problem (or opportunity) is h …

  • Approach sales like a mutual evaluation.

• A Special Invite to a Special Sales Training

We hate being sold to. But we love to buy.

Let me tell you about the worst buying experience of my life.

Years ago, I was at a Jeep dealership with my (now ex) husband. We were there “just to look.”

But something happened. We got into a fight—like, full-blown tension out of nowhere. And instead of talking it through or supporting me like a partner should…

He left me there.
At the dealership.
By myself.

And not just while wandering around, but after we were sitting down to talk with a sales rep.

I was stranded. No ride. No backup. No space to process.

Plus, I was feeling awkward and embarrassed that I was suddenly left alone, unsure of what to do.

Looking back on it, I swear the sales guy licked his chops, knowing he had a cornered, vulnerable prey just waiting to be eaten alive.

And somehow, even though I hadn’t planned on buying a car that day…

I walked out with keys in hand and a contract I never really wanted to sign.

Why?

Because I felt pressured.
I felt alone.
I felt like I didn’t have a choice.

And that experience has stuck with me for years—because it’s exactly what people are afraid of when they think of “sales.”

• That they’ll be cornered.

• That they’ll be manipulated.

• That they’ll be pushed into a decision they’re not ready to make.

And that’s not just bad sales. That’s trauma sales.

So yeah, no wonder it feels icky.

Think about the last time you made a big purchase—one you were genuinely excited about. Maybe it was a course, a service, or something that promised to make your life or business better.

• You weren’t tricked into buying.

• You weren’t manipulated.

• You weren’t pressured.

You made a choice—because you wanted or needed what they were offering.

And that’s what doing sales well actually is.

How to Make Sales Feel Like Just a Conversation

If sales feels gross to you, it’s because you’re approaching it the wrong way. Instead of trying to convince people, shift your mindset to:

Put the buyer in the driver’s seat. 

Your job isn’t to make them say yes. It’s to help them figure out if it’s the right fit.

That means you want to help them understand what they want (or need), what’s at stake for them, and whether you are the right person to help them.

Get clear on who your ideal client actually is. 

Selling feels hard when you’re talking to the wrong people. You are probably so eager to land new business that you’ll take ANY new business.

As a result, if you’re like any of my clients, your understanding fo what makes someone an ideal client is hazy at best, downright non-existent at worst. But when you get crystal clear on what makes someone a DREAM client, it becomes infinitely easier to show them why you’re a perfect fit for their needs.

And to politely say “no thanks” when they aren’t.

Understand why their problem (or opportunity) is high stakes. 

If they don’t see the urgency, they won’t prioritize solving it. And you won’t feel as motivated to explain why your work is so darn valuable to them.

You want to work with the clients for whom the cost of inaction drastically outweighs the costs of hiring you.

Approach sales like a mutual evaluation. 

You’re not just seeing if they want to work with you—you’re seeing if YOU want to work with THEM. When you approach the sales conversation as an opportunity for BOTH of you to explore collaboration, it puts you both on an equal playing field.

And it changes the whole dynamic of the conversation.

Sales isn’t about convincing. It’s about connecting.

It’s a conversation between two people, figuring out if they’re the right match. No pressure, no manipulation—just clarity.

And when you approach sales this way? It stops feeling like “selling” and starts feeling like helping.

Even if you are CONVINCED you will always hate selling, I promise you, you’re wrong.

Just last week, I was on a call with one of my 1:1 clients, an experienced, badass consultant with decades of experience, but who struggled to build consistent revenue and achieve sustainable growth.

She laughed about how much she enjoys sales calls now. She mentioned that with her newfound clarity (and confidence) in her offers, her conversations don’t even feel like sales calls anymore.

Instead, they feel like she's "laying the cards on the table." She's simply presenting what she offers, knowing the value of her services. She might not be the right fit for every client at every time, and that's okay.

The conversation becomes about whether there's a fit rather than feeling personally rejected if a potential client isn't interested.

She even gave a specific example of how she handled a proposal differently than she would have a year ago. When a potential client asked about reducing her rates, instead of immediately agreeing just to get her foot in the door, she was more strategic. She was willing to restructure the agreement to meet their needs while still maintaining the value of her services.

If you want to build a business where selling feels effortless, this is exactly the kind of work we do in The Solo CEO.

You in? Reply, and let’s talk.

In love and growth,
Kasey

A Special Invite to a Special Sales Training

This week, I’m joining some of the BIGGEST B2B sales experts for a pretty wild experience at LinkedIn HQ and to attend Glengarry Glen Ross (the greatest sales play and movie ever) starring Bill Burr, Bob Odenkirk, and Kieran Culkin on Broadway. WHAT?!

We’re also going to be hosting a bunch of free sales trainings on March 28th. I highly, highly, highly recommend that you register to get access to some crazy valuable insights from seriously impressive humans.

Join 15 top sales practitioners and personalities on Linkedin as they share their best sales “plays” on EXACTLY how they use the platform to build their brand and fill their pipelines.